Kauai

Kauai is the smallest and oldest of the 4 large Hawaiian islands. It also claims to be home to the wettest spot on earth, some areas that get an average yearly rainfall of nearly 39 feet. Kauai's age, combined with the rain, results in an island that has been heavily eroded over time. In sharp contrast to Maui and the Big Island, the volcano that created Kauai has been carved into an ornate, cliff ringed plateau rising abruptly 5,200 feet over the surrounding landscape. Deep canyons run off the mountain, carving cliffs c into fantastic shapes littered with high waterfalls that evoke a lost, primitive world. It's no surprise that over 70 movies and shows have used the island as a backdrop.

The north end of the island looks like Cambodia, but instead of rice they are growing Taro.

Another result of all the rain is that Kauai has rivers. No other Hawaiian island has rivers. But to say it is so rainy is misleading. Like many of the islands, most of the rain falls on one side. As the trade winds smack right into the Na Pali coast, the air is forced straight up the mountainside, and through adiabatic cooling produces rain at the top. The southern portions of the island are much drier, often enough to expect sunshine every day.

In sharp contrast to the north, the south end of the island looks semi-arid.

Waimea Canyon on a cloudy, rainy day.

Waimea Canyon on a sunny day.

Waimea Canyon at dawn. Are you getting it yet?

My first night on Kauai I discovered that it is a cursed island. In 1992 Typhoon Iniki did a substantial amount of damage to the island. The entire ecosystem of the island was changed when a chicken farm was destroyed, releasing all the birds into the wild. There are no predators on the island, and as a result the whole place has become overrun.

We had flown in late and didn't check into our hotel until 11pm. At 3am I woke up to roosters crowing. It was so loud it sounded like it was right outside my window. It went on until I got up later that morning. The first thing I did was go outside to see how far off these roosters were. They were directly outside my window. Additionally, they were on the porch, on the walkway to the car, all over the parking lot, in fact, there were roosters and chickens all over every surface of the ground in all directions. They were actively reproducing. To kill a few was pointless. I thought I would go crazy.

It was enough to make me completely re-prioritize my vacation. We spent the morning finding a new hotel to stay in, being sure to not only look at the rooms but also to walk all over the grounds and count chickens. Before noon we found a nice resort that was almost chicken free. I found out at night that they had large feral cats that helped take care of the chickens in the area.

The lithified cliffs near Poipu are a fun walk offering tidal pools, hidden surfer caves, and a secluded beach at the end of the cliffs.

This tidal pool had a lot fish and sea cucumber to mess with.

On one occasion, Maree and I were eating some sandwiches at a community park, in a covered picnic area to stay out of the sun on a hot day. There were some tennis courts and ball fields around us before the park stopped at the edge of the jungle. We were the only people there, but in no time at all chickens and roosters began to emerge out of the thick trees and walk towards us, slowly, like zombies. Some of them would try to half fly over the fences, others took their time and walked around the long way. Withing minutes there were two dozen chickens and roosters at our feet, milling about and eyeballing our sandwiches. Maree began to get nervous, the roosters began to compete for position, and still more chickens streamed out of the jungle. It was such a crazy experience I deemed Kauai the victim of a Zombie Chicken Apocalypse. I dove at them and they scattered like frightened lunatics.

Locals encourage you to kill the chickens at your leisure. I set about the task wholeheartedly, but they seem to have adapted to constant attempts on their lives and have become quite skittish. Even running over them can be challenging. I did manage to smash into one with the corner of my car, on the last day we were there. It squawked, and in my mirror I saw it tumble of into space like Darth Vader's damaged tie fighter.